Outer order, inner calm
Are you the kind of person who likes to tidy their desk before starting a hard task, or needs a clean kitchen before starting the next meal? Or are these the last things you think of before starting a new task? It helps me to make my bed so I can decide what to wear for the day. I used to think that I was at my procrastinating best when taking time to clear the decks before starting anything afresh, but now I can see that it helps my mind to be clear and focused.
In her by the book of the same name, Gretchin Rubin espouses her theory that for most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm. Note the word ‘contributes’ here - it isn’t a cure all, but for many people, it really does help. In this blog, I explore different ways I create those little moments of calm throughout my day by taking time to bring some outer order to a space. I have a few mantras that I often say to myself and other members of the family (oh yes, they just love them!):
A place for everything, and everything in its place
Don’t put it down, put it away
Finish the cycle
But before I get into the practicalities of how I create outer order, let’s dig deeper into why it’s important and how it contributes to inner calm. I have spent much of the last twenty years learning about how our brains work so that I can apply those insights to my coaching and design work.
I know for example that your working memory is limited, and we can only hold a certain amount of information in mind at one time. So if you have a space that has a whole lot of ‘should do’s’(I should put those shoes back in their box; I should declutter my shoes so I have space for them all in the cupboard; I should file those bills; I should pay those bills! And so on…), then much of your precious working memory is going to be taken up with all those thoughts. That leaves less space to process other information.
I also know that we are easily distracted. Incredibly easily distracted. It takes a lot of effort to stay focused on what’s important, and that becomes harder the more distractions you have around you. Especially when those distractions are things have an emotional element to them (like wanting to clear the clutter, but not getting to it, and feeling bad about it). Think about how often you start a task, and then get distracted by something as simple as a noise outside your door, only to then forget what you were doing in the first place. So you then might start something else quickly such checking emails, only to find yourself distracted, so you decide to write a list of things you want to get done today…. By getting rid of visual clutter, you make it easier for your brain to stay focused. For more on clearing mental clutter, check out another blog post of The Power of Three.
Three ideas that help me create more outer order:
A place for everything, and everything in its place: Or in other words, knowing what you have and where it is. It is very hard to put something away if it doesn’t have a home. And it is even harder to find something if it might be in any of ten different places. I am not so organised that my spice rack is alphabetised, but I do have space on a shelf where all the spices live. And I am also pretty good at only keeping as many spices as fit on that shelf. I can then easily check if I have a needed ingredient, and reduce the risk of buying new when I already have something similar or even exactly the same. I like the look of having things in the same type of container so I keep jars that match and decant ingredients into them. The effect is definitely calming to my eye, and things stack and fit more easily. I am happy to let the collection of jars build over time so I have a cohesive set, but I have been known to spray paint the lids so they all match! Here’s a photo of my pantry shelving unit to show you (I didn’t tidy before taking the photo, so you can see that while most things match, there are still a few things that we use that don’t always make it into a jar….). We cook and bake a lot, and these shelves hold all our dry ingredients.
How my collection of jars helps me create a place for everything
Don’t put it down, put it away: This is something that tidying guru Peter Walsh says again and again. It requires that everything has a place (see above), but if we don’t actually then put it away, things can get out of control very quickly. Do you have those places in your home that always seem to get messy? For me, it’s the end of the kitchen bench, the top of the dresser in my bedroom, and yes, my office desk. These are places that seem to collect clutter. If I put my handbag on the end of the kitchen bench, then within minutes there seems to be other things around it. Someone has left a glass, the mail from outside gets put there, I might put a few things that belong in other rooms there until I am heading that way… And all of a sudden, this one spot has become a dumping ground. It’s like we give permission to leave other things out and around when we don’t put the first thing away. Clutter breeds clutter. So don’t put it down, put it away.
Finish the cycle: When my kids tidy the kitchen after a meal, they will do most of the job. They will put most things in the dishwasher, and they will wash up most things. But they never seem to quite finish the whole thing. I have to call them back to complete the job, which is challenging for everyone but I try to keep my cool and show them what it means to finish the cycle - deal with everything on the bench and then wipe it down, so that it’s ready for the next meal later on. Another example is dealing with the mail. There are several steps to this! Opening, reading, deciding what needs to be done, then doing whatever you need to do with it, and finally dealing with the paper. Does it need to be filed? Can you recycle the paper? Or does it contain sensitive information? A game changer for me is having a paper shredder under my desk that I feed any paper into that no longer has any use, and when full, I add to the garden compost. The paper is dealt with in a way that feels more useful than just throwing it out or even recycling. Finishing the cycle is key to creating outer order and inner calm.
So there are three ideas that help me calm the chaos of family living and running a business from home. What do you do to create outer order? What gives you that sense of inner calm? Please share your tips and tricks so we can keep learning from each other!